Scrolling through social media for just a minute can quickly turn into an hour, but experts caution parents that their screen habits might be conveying a harmful message to their kids.
The behavior, referred to as phubbing, occurs when someone pays more attention to their phone than to the person they are with. This term, a combination of “phone” and “snubbing”, was introduced in 2012 as part of a campaign to “Stop Phubbing”.
Psychologist Mary Alvord, who co-authored Conquer Negative Thinking for Teens, shared with Very Well Mind that children often perceive phubbing as a form of rejection. “He or she may feel unimportant,” Alvord noted.
“When kids start to think this way, they frequently withdraw from others. They may also react in extreme ways, either negatively or positively, to seek any form of attention.”
For younger children, these feelings can escalate into more serious emotional problems. Studies indicate that children who feel overlooked are at a higher risk of developing anxiety or depression symptoms.
A study published in the National Library of Medicine revealed that greater emotional neglect at home was associated with more significant depressive symptoms by age 18. On the other hand, having strong social support from friends seemed to alleviate those symptoms.
While smartphones have become vital in our everyday lives—acting as alarms, calendars, news sources, and social hubs—Alvord emphasizes that parents must recognize when their usage disrupts real-life interactions. “Parents depend on the convenience of smartphones… which fosters a sense of reliance,” she stated. “We frequently hear parents say they ‘can’t go anywhere’ without their phone.”
Moreover, it’s not only children who are affected. Research indicates that phubbing can harm various types of relationships, including romantic ones.
A study conducted by Faruk Caner Yam at Gaziosmanpaşa University in Turkey revealed that partners who experienced frequent phubbing reported lower satisfaction and a diminished perception of relationship quality. “Being overly engaged with smartphones during a romantic relationship negatively impacts satisfaction,” Yam concluded. “It is crucial to raise awareness among couples regarding smartphone usage in their relationships.”
In essence, occasionally checking a notification is one thing, but consistently prioritizing your phone over the person in front of you can convey a clear (and painful) message, whether it’s to your partner, a friend, or your child.
